We read through my Script in class and then the main feedback i got was that the story unravels too easily and there are no problems that the characters of dave and garry have to over come. My girlfreind came up with the idea of a scene where the boys try to pick pocket their dad, and also a scene where they are robbed by a Rude Boy. I then took my script in again and we read through it and i got the following feedback:
Why would they aim to pickpocket an alcohoic/ messy guy as a pick pocket victim, put in a scene with the Pickpocket victim being a tool.
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